Lately I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t wanna feel anything. I’m constantly worried about a man talking to someone else when this man isn’t even my man. I’m more cautious about it because now that he has cheated on me, I become interested in his every conversation. But he’s not my man anymore. Is it wrong for me to keep on keeping him on his toes like that?

“I just want his attention. I don’t want his heart. Maybe I just hate the thought of him with someone new.”

Everything in this Charlie Puth song is so right. I just want his attention. I already broke his heart. But I’m definitely not ready to see him with someone new.

I don’t like that I’m always up his neck thinking about these girls he’s meeting. I don’t want to be. I can’t help but be doubtful. I just wish I was heartless and don’t feel anything. Because I don’t want to feel anything at all. Not this stupid feeling of jealousy of a man who’s not even mine. Not these feelings I still have for him. Not these feelings that he’s repressing and not returning back to me. Not these feelings that he will eventually invest in another girl. I don’t wanna think about it. I don’t feel like doing anything. I don’t wanna cry. I don’t wanna be an attention hoe for him when he’s not here. It doesn’t have to be this tough. I don’t want it to be like this.